I'll be back after the New Year.

Hey, folks! I'm going to spend the next couple of weeks with my family. My stepdaughters are visiting, and we've got family coming in and out, and I want to be "present".

I will miss the blog, but I look forward to coming back refreshed and reenergized!

Have an amazing holiday season! I'll see you on the other side.

Sneaky Parent: Working K5 prep into holiday activities

Out of my circle of friends, I was the first to have children. I launched that ship relatively young--I was nineteen when my eldest was born, 23 when the youngest came along. Add in my stepdaughters, and I am currently involved in parenting four different age groups: teenager, tween, elementary-aged, and preschool.

It's a madhouse sometimes.

One of the bugs of this position is that I get to hear a lot of "new parent" worries, because I've been there, and my kids are alright. In some ways, at least from my experience, it's hopeful to see parents who have made it through and come out the other side, whose children seem to be in one piece.

It surprises me how many parents worry over preparing their children for school. I'm going to launch my Sneaky Parent series with some ways that you can help prepare your children in relatively simple ways.

There's an entire industry devoted to the idea that you have to bend over backwards to prepare children for school, to teach them to read, to get them to count, but I'm here to tell you--it's not true. You don't need to spend a fortune, and chances are good, most of the materials we talk about in this series will be things you already have, can afford easily, or can substitute for things that you do have. I'll try to indicate if there are substitutions any time I can.

Let's be real: The underlying message in this marketing is that you can't do it. You can't teach your child to read. You can't prep them for school. You aren't able. And that, too, is untrue. You are completely capable of building a strong intellectual foundation for your miniature monsters.

There's no secret here. As a species, we are programmed to enjoy learning. That is, I would argue, our most important and successful adaptation--our ability to enjoy just figuring things out. Not even for practical purposes, but often for just the hell of it.

I like to say, when I am asked, that you don't necessarily need to teach your kids to learn--you just need to know when to get out of their way. It's much more about guiding them than teaching them something new.

And that's the very feature that makes it so easy to integrate into things you're already doing.

So today, let's talk about K5 prep and how we can use activities around the holiday season to work on some important facets of preparing for K5. I'm focusing on kindergarten specifically because that seems to cause a lot of anxiety for parents who are approaching it for the first time, and also because Little A is currently getting pumped and ready to start next fall.

I'm going to organize this first post by doing a skill and then the activities you can use to explore it.

So here we go!

Habit Helpers: Read the newspaper.

Okay. So I'm a serious reader of current events.

But when I started considering how to do this habit, I realized I have a serious flaw in how I handle current events: I'm to the point where I rely mostly on blog posts.

Yes, when something catches my eye, I may do more in-depth research. I will click the links and find as original a source as I can for things that seem outrageous to me. But overall? I'm way comfortable just reading about something, cracking a couple of jokes in the comment section, and not going any deeper than that.

I don't know that I am willing to commit to reading the newspaper. Since we don't currently get a paper, it would be a little bit involved. But I do think that I want to mix things up and start visiting NEWS sites, and not just blog sites.

So I'm going to be taking a look at the AP, Reuters, New York Times, The State, and my local newspaper and try to make time every single day to check in and see what's going on. And who knows? Maybe this will be one of those instances when I switch from digital to printed. ;-)

Taking the Week Off

We've got a busy week ahead of us, so I'll be taking this week to spend with my family. I'll see you all on NEXT Monday!

Have a great week and a very happy Thanksgiving!

Habit Helpers: Watch Educational Videos Instead of TV

A migraine took me down yesterday, and I wound up not doing any watching, educational or otherwise.

I did listen to a couple of podcasts before it hit though. I'm personally loving the new NPR Politics podcast. It was just launched a week or so ago, so check out the archive HERE, and it will still be plenty relevant.

I also caught up on Wednesday's "Stuff You Missed in History Class" episode: St. Clair's Defeat, or The Battle of a Thousand Slain. Highly recommend that also.

I was planning on listening to the Thinking Atheist for this week, but it turned out to be the same show I'd seen him do recently, so I skipped it. I do recommend seeing it live--it's pretty great.

Anyway....what are you watching? Or listening to?

Habit Helpers: Watch Educational Videos Instead of TV: More TED Talks

Okay, so the TED Talks thing is working out really well for me. Turns out, that format is a little addictive, especially since they autoplay when I start them on my computer. It's also easier to incorporate them into tasks than I thought it would be--yesterday, I was doing laundry (and catching up--I'd washed laundry Monday but had...uh...neglected to fold any of it....) and while I was folding, I set my computer up on my dresser and managed to watch a whole mess of really interesting videos. I also learned more about bonobos, an ape I only casually knew existed, which was really exciting in a ridiculous and disproportionate way for me. ;-)

Based on what I watched yesterday, here's the TED Talks I enjoyed (basically all of them I watched...):

"Why People Believe Weird Things" (Michael Shermer): Shermer discusses the different ways that our minds can trick us, the evolutionary origins of some of these tricks, and a lot more.

"Homeopathy, Quackery, and Fraud" (James Randi): Randi discusses how people can be deceived by claims of the paranormal, and perhaps most importantly, why we should care enough to be skeptical.

"What We Think We Know" (Jonathan Drori): Drori discusses the ways that science education fails and how we can do it better by addressing the preconceptions children come into the classroom with.

"The Moral Bias Behind Your Search Results" (Andreas Ekström): Ekström reminds us to be cautious, because even the infamous Google makes judgement calls about its algorithms and the results they return.

"This Is What LGBT Life Is Like Around the World" (Jenni Chang and Lisa Dazols): Chang and Dazols went around the world to find stories of what real LGBT individuals are doing in their communities, and it's fun and uplifting to see them tell the tales of the "Super Gays" they encountered along the way.

"The Coolest Animal You Know Nothing About" (Patrícia Medici): Okay, so the title wasn't really applicable to me. The fact that I already knew some about tapirs (and Medici) actually drew me to the Talk. Big A and I checked out a book last year written about Medici's efforts to conserve the species. Still, it was pretty awesome.

"Evolution's Gift of Play, From Bonobo Apes to Humans" (Isabel Behncke): This was where I just let the autoplay go. After the tapir video, it jumped to this one, and I was, to be honest, really taken in by these apes. They're pretty awesome, and who doesn't want to learn more about a species that has sex to say 'HELLO!'?

"The Gentle Genius of Bonobos" (Susan Savage-Rumbaugh): Really, y'all, these creatures are amazing. You have to watch this talk--it's just...so cool.

"The Shrimp With a Kick" (Sheila Patek): One of the things that I love about TED so far (and I experienced this in the podcast too, but it's way more noticeable in the videos) is that subjects that I would never, EVER, have pursued myself are just absolutely electrified by the passion of the presenter. The Mantis Shrimp is a topic I didn't know existed, and one that I probably wouldn't have cared about if I did know it existed, but this video (again, thanks to autoplay!) was another of my favorites. Patek loves these little whackers and her enthusiasm is contagious.

Anyway, I enjoyed all of these thoroughly and I highly recommend them. Most of them are a little long--I think the tapir one is the shortest at just over six minutes--but it was so worth it to see so many perspectives. The inspiration isn't even necessarily from the information; it's from the passion. I'm a fan.

Clean Up Your Act: Cleaning Kits

Having the right tools is essential.

We keep three sets of cleaning supplies around the house.

The Bathroom Kit

Originally, I'd planned to do a kit for each bathroom, but honestly, it just took up extra space. So now we have a single kit that lives under our guest bathroom sink.

• Toilet bowl cleaner
• Glass cleaner
• Disinfecting wipes
• Dishwashing liquid
• Baking Soda
• Bowl
• Cloths

I also keep a pack of baby wipes in each bathroom to use for wiping down surfaces in between cleaning days.

The Dusting Kit

The dusting kit lives in our laundry room linen closet.

• Dusting spray
• Swiffer extendable duster
• Extra pads for duster
• Electronics wipes
• Dusting cloths
• Glass cleaner
• Cloths

The dusting kit is actually used for more than dusting, but it covers pretty much every room but the bathrooms and kitchen.

Kitchen Supplies

I don't have a kit for kitchen supplies YET...but I'd like to add it some day.

• Glass cleaner
• Baking soda
• Ceramic stovetop cleaner
• Disinfecting wipes
• Razor
• Sponge cloths
• Cloths

I also keep white vinegar on hand for cleaning the microwave.

You may have noticed that glass cleaner winds up in every spot, and disinfecting wipes in two out of the three--I find it useful to just have it on hand in the room I am using it in (or the kit I am taking to that room). For me, it helps to corral everything at once and not kill my mojo....

Habit Helpers: Watch Educational Videos Instead Of TV

So, I watched a TED Talk yesterday, in line with my goals for this habit. I also made a list of several of the speakers that I want to watch over the next few months.

I picked a talk that I learned about through the TED Radio Hour podcast. In the podcast, they feature snippets from various talks, tied together by a similar theme. The podcast that I was thinking of is "Unstoppable Learning". In that podcast, they featured Sugata Mitra and his School in the Cloud.

You can watch the whole TED Talk here.

One of my favorite quotes (I paraphrase) talks about how learning will happen--we just have to let it. I really agree with this idea because our ability to learn is one of our strengths as a species. We have such a capacity for learning that it seems that it must have been an adaptation conferred by the process of natural selection.

I find that parents, especially new parents, tend to really stress over whether their children are learning or not. I know that I did. As I watched my kiddos, though, I realized that they are going to learn no matter what. All I had to do was get out of their way.

It's a great talk. Take a look.

Clean Up Your Act: Creating a Cleaning Schedule, Part 6: Communal Living Areas Day 2

Day 2 of our communal living clean up: Tuesday.

The Scene: A lone warrior surveys a dusty and forlorn kitchen...

I kid, I kid. Today is the day that is usually the most intense cleaning-wise. I'm a little paranoid about making sure the kitchen stays properly disinfected, and sometimes, that takes time. Also, our new home has white cabinets, and that...that takes some doing to keep them white sometimes....

I promised yesterday I would talk about how I decided which day to do our kitchen/dining area and which to do our living/entry/office. It's really pretty boring. Our trash runs on Wednesday, usually first thing in the morning before my spouse even leaves for work at 5:30, so I needed to be make sure that anything smelly from the fridge would be cleaned out before then. Thus by default, Tuesday became kitchen cleaning day.

I say that kind of nonchalantly but it's honestly an important point when you're looking at setting a rhythm to get things done around the house: Make a note of recurring activities that may influence how much time you have or when it makes sense to do something. I like to think of a little snippet from Marcus Aurelius's Meditations:

to do less, better

That's my mantra in most things, but especially in housework.

So what does my kitchen chore list look like? Here's a peek:

I've talked some about my differentiation between "quick" and "deep". Quick indicates that I just hit in passing--enough to keep stuff from gunking up and to notice if it needs a deeper clean. A deep clean indicates that, regardless of what kind of condition it is, I clear it and clean it top to bottom. Between Quick and Deep in my kitchen, it keeps things manageable. Most of the time, cleaning something on a "deep" day doesn't take much more than a moment or two longer than it does on a "quick" day.

Let me explain what some of these look like, from Daily to Biannually:

• Stove Quick: I just wipe down the top and clear any splatters
• Counters Quick: I just wipe down what I can see--I don't move anything unless I have to.
• Stove Deep: I have a ceramic stove, so I break out my cleaners and my razor and make it smooth and shiny.
• Oven Quick: I use a damp cloth to wipe down the inside of the oven, unless it has something that requires immediate attention.
• Fridge / Freezer Quick: This starts Monday night, when we have a leftovers night. Then I wipe down any surfaces I see on Tuesday with a damp rag, and I clean up any messes, but I don't pull out the drawers or shelves.
• Cabinets Quick: I wipe down the front and doors of my cabinets.
• Pantry Quick: I do a once over and make sure that everything's back where it should be and I sweep what I can see.
• Counters Deep: I move everything and wipe underneath. I also wipe down any containers, utensil crocks, stand mixer, etc, before I put them back.
• Oven Deep: I prefer to use a baking soda mixture, but this is the day that I actually use more than a damp rag.
• Fridge / Freezer Deep: Shelves and drawers are removed and washed in soapy water. I check expiration dates as I go also.
• Cabinets Deep: Everything comes out, the shelves get wiped down, and order is restored to the kingdom.

What about the dining room?

• Table Quick: The kids do this after every meal. It's just a quick wipe down.
• Table Deep: I wipe down the sides and legs, and move the table to sweep under where the legs are.
• Chairs Quick: I wipe down the back and slats.
• Trash: I wipe down the outside of the trashcan, clean the edges, and move it to sweep and mop underneath.
• Chairs Deep: Stain treatments. I also wipe down the legs and usually the feet.
• Trash Deep: I remove the liner to spray it out and wipe it down. I try to clean out any cracks and crevices.

Why do I wipe down the walls and baseboards more often in the dining area? For some reason, they wind up an absolute wreck so much faster than anywhere else in the house.

Anyway, this is probably my least favorite cleaning day. I love seeing the finished product, but making sure it's done the way I want is tedious and monotonous. I'm glad that it went quickly today. ;-)

Habit Helpers: Watch Educational Videos Instead of Television: My Netflix Documentary List

I failed yesterday. I did not watch a single video, instead opting to watch the Blacklist last night. I have no regrets!

I thought that instead I would share my Netflix documentary list. Here's a look, in no particular order except that I really, really, really want to watch Beasts of No Nation, so badly, so it gets the number one spot.

• Beasts of No Nation (I realize this isn't TECHNICALLY a documentary, but I still think it's close enough, or maybe I am just trying to justify how badly I want to watch it...)
• Chariots of the Gods
• Hoop Dreams
• Grizzly man
• The Thin Blue Line
• Los Angeles Play Itself
• Man with a Movie Camera
• The Act of Killing
• The Up Series
• Leviathan
• Muscle Shoals
• Exit through the Gift Shop
• The Overnighters
• The Punk Singer
• The Queen of Versailles
• No No: A Dockumentary
• Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry
• Ballet 422
• How to Survive a Plauge
• Brooklyn Castle
• Man on Wire
• Samsara
• Sins of My Father
• Let the Fire Burn
• The Square
• Cave of Forgotten Dreams
• Biggie & Tupac
• The Imposter
• Touching the Void
• Keep on Keepin' On
• The Source Family
• Finding Fela
• What Happened, Miss Simone?
• Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows
• The Black Power Mixtape, 1967-1975
• Life Itself
• Paris is Burning
• The Last Waltz
• Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son about His Father
• 20 Feet from Stardom
• The Waiting Room
• Happy Valley
• Girlhood
• The Green Prince
• Into the Abyss
• Vernon, Florida
• Brother's Keeper
• Sherman's March
• Happy Valley
• The Epic of Everest
• Deep Water
• Room 237
• Life Itself
• Detropia
• Actress
• Stories We Tell
• Rich Hill
• Virunga
• First Position
• Life in a Day

What are you looking to watch?

Clean Up Your Act: Creating a Cleaning Schedule, Part 5: Communal Living Areas Day 1

Today, I'm going to kind of combine what I do for Sundays and Mondays, because I don't blog on Sundays.

Sundays, I usually devote to a of reset the kids' spaces. The way our house is laid out, we've got the kids on one side, with a bedroom for our sons and another for my stepdaughters, plus an extra bedroom that we use as a playroom, plus our guest bathroom. Then in the center is our communal spaces and my office, and on the other side from that is our master bedroom and bathroom. It is brilliantly quiet, after living on top of each other for five years or so, and sharing a room with my older son for the three years before that.

I debated back and forth on how best to balance keeping their playroom and bedroom in check with still teaching the kids to be responsible. It's kind of gone back and forth, but right now, I do a weekly reset and clean of the playroom to make sure that it stays pretty organized, and the kids do a weekly clean and reset of their bedrooms. I typically handle the monthly, quarterly, and biannual chores, but it's become a case by case basis. Some of those chores are absolutely kid-friendly, so I delegate those to the kiddos.

We also have a pretty strict screentime regime: half an hour a day during the school year, with the ability to earn extra time for reading, playing outside, and helping out. We don't do an allowance currently, but I am trying to roll out our bounty system again. That'll be a blog for a different day. Before any screen time is allowed, their spaces have to be picked up and all of the toys have to be removed from communal spaces. This helps keep it fairly neat as we go through.

Here's a look at what we do in the playroom:

It's pretty straightforward, I think. Here's the one for the kids' rooms:

What's the difference between linens and comforters and sheets? Nothing, technically. I just use "linens" to mean rugs and curtains in this case.

Here's the hallway that links that side of the house:

It takes a fairly rough beating over the course of any given month, which is why the walls and baseboards get washed more regularly than most of our other rooms. So far, so good.

Mondays are set up so that I can get the communal areas back in check. Over the weekend, when we are all home, it gets pretty banged up. Taking Monday and Tuesday to work on these areas lets me do a quick reversal back to Tidytown before things get out of hand.

Mondays, I focus on the Living Room, Entryway, and my Office. Tuesdays are for the kitchen and dining area. I'll explain how I decided which went on which day in tomorrow's post.

Our Living chores breakdown like this:

A deep vacuum involves moving all of the furniture, which is why it only happens twice a year. Right now, it's not a big deal--I move the couch and loveseat every week when I vacuum because they are light. The only other furniture is the entertainment center. However, when I made this list, I was kind of envisioning the future, when I want to add a side table, small bookcase, and chest that will hold our turtle's tank. That is definitely not a task I want to undertake every week, or even every month. I will try the twice a year schedule and see if that works out, and if not, it's one of those things I can always adjust.

Couch and Loveseat just reminds me to vacuum the cushions because even a no food in the living room without permission rule isn't quite enough to corral all the crumbs, to say nothing of sand and dirt that seems to cling to children with alarming tenacity.

Our living room and entryway are connected, no walls in between them, but I find it useful to divide them, as the flooring is different. Here's how it breaks down for the Entry:

Our entry currently has no furniture, but I find it useful to dust above doorframes, and we have our Pale Blue Dot print here, and I simply have to keep it dust-free, right? :-P

The closet makes the list twice. Weekly, I give it a quick once over and return stuff to where they should be. Monthly, I review the organization and make any changes that need to be made. I also find it helpful to shift extra jackets and shoes back to their appropriate closets to free up space--it's not a large closet.

And finally, my office, one of my absolute favorite rooms. Indeed, this room (which I blog from regularly) was one of the reasons I fell in love with this house. Technically, it was meant to be a dining room, but there's already a breakfast area in the kitchen and this room was carpeted. I was also specifically looking for a place that I could put a desk, both for blogging purposes and because I'm looking at returning to school myself after Little A starts kindergarten. Thus when I saw this room, I was immediately struck by how useless it was as a dining area for our family and how grand it would be to use it for my office. And it has not disappointed! Here's my labor of love to keep it tidy:

Originally, I was dusting all of my shelves every week, and then it occurred to me that I would probably be better off to just hit them with Swiffer duster and do a deep dust, where I remove everything and get behind and dust books and frames and knick knacks individually, about once a month. I really like this system; it's my second month with it divvied up this way, and it has really freed up my time for the majority of my weeks each month.

That's the wrap for the first part of our communal areas. My goal by the end of Mondays (or rather, by lunch time--after lunch is time for blogging! ;)) is to have these three areas reset and ready for the rest of the week.

This works really well--this past weekend, for instance, we were a bit busier than usual. We've been trying to get my stepdaughters' room ready to be painted before they come down for Christmas, and so we were going through a couple of boxes that we'd stashed in there and hadn't processed yet. Most of the contents were electronics that we had to decide whether to keep and set up in the playroom or take to Gamestop and trade in. This turned out to take longer than I'd anticipated, and it also meant that various components and other crap were strewn across my living room floor for the better part of Saturday and Sunday. For some reason, having a mess like that, even partially contained but still visible, is like an invitation to my family to throw shit wherever they so please, and so by this morning, it was a bigger wreck than it's been since we finished unpacking. My desk was covered with receipts and paid bills and other paperwork to be filed. There was stuff mysteriously knocked off of the bookshelves. It was, as they say, ridiculous. We also had put off grocery shopping this weekend, which meant that I was stuck doing it this morning after dropping Big A at school. To say the least, it was not an ideal set up, and yet, I was still done with the cleaning by 11, when we had lunch. Not bad at all, considering I couldn't get started until 9 because of the shopping.

And that's really the whole point of having a cleaning schedule. By getting into this routine, I flow. I groove. In the end, I have more time this way than I've ever had in the past. And that's a win in my book.

Habit Helpers: Watch Educational Videos Instead of Television

I have to be honest: This is another one of those habits I'm kind of "meh" about for a variety of reasons.

Imma try not to humblebrag, but I'm not a big TV watcher to begin with. During the days when Big A is at school and Spousal Unit is at work, the TV's not usually on at all. I think this dates back to my childhood, because my mom was the same way. Indeed, I can remember while my dad was in Bosnia for nine months, we used the TV so rarely that it began to look just...dusty. All the time.

So it's hard for me to imagine wanting to find time to replace TV with other videos, because the time that I do spend watching TV is for items that I really enjoy. Honestly, I'm not inclined to give that up.

Also, I got behind on Once Upon a Time and I promised one of my dear friends that I will absolutely be pushing to get caught back up, soooooo...........

Whenever I encounter a habit that's not really workable for my life, I try to come up with ways to honor the principle. The principle, in this case, seems to be finding sources for information that aren't print. Here's the three ways that I've come up with to practice this:

1. I already listen to podcasts at an alarming rate. I'll keep doing this while I'm doing my housework and blogging (I'm listening to Skeptic's Guide to the Universe right now!).
2. I have generated a list of Netflix documentaries. I'm going to try to work through them over the next year (there's about 62 of them right now).
3. I will make a list of TED talks to watch. I'll try to watch one or two a week. I already listen to the TED Radio Hour, so I know I like that format. Might be nice to take a peek at the original format, and I've heard good things.

So I think that I can work on this one in spirit. We'll just have to see!

Clean Up Your Act: Creating a Cleaning Schedule, Part 4: Give yourself a make up day...and a day off

Today is Friday. Fridays are grand, aren't they?

I never really appreciated Fridays when I worked because in retail, Fridays usually are the start of the busy part of our week. I rarely had a full weekend off, so Friday was just another work day.

Nowadays, I appreciate them a little more. Tomorrow, I won't have to get up at six to get the kids moving before Big A has to be at school. Spousal Unit won't have to get up at five to be at work by six. We'll wake up, probably to sunshine and kids snuggling up to us. Fridays are truly a doorway to the weekend now.

Fridays are also an important day for my schedule: my make up day.

When I first started using a cleaning schedule, I carefully scheduled every day of the week...and I quickly figured out that I was exhausting myself. I was also getting behind if the week deviated even slightly from my scheduling. A good system should be flexible...and mine was not. Not at all. There was no room for error.

When we moved in here, I revisited the schedule and realized that it's not difficult to group my cleaning into days and give myself a day to catch up on anything that I missed out on. For instance, yesterday, I had an IEP meeting for my older son's speech. In bygone days, this would have the potential to irreparably throw off my cleaning schedule for the week. BUT NO MORE! I knew going into yesterday that if there were things I couldn't get done, they could roll over to today with no real issue. Technically, Fridays are laundry and yard work days, but our yard doesn't require much maintenance, so it gives me plenty of time for catch up while I'm waiting for loads of laundry to finish up.

Another day that I made time for was a day off--every Saturday.

Saturdays were another day that weren't really important when I was working and neither of our sons were in school. I could spend whatever days I had off during the week doing fun stuff like going to the zoo or the movies or whatever. It was great, I'm not going to lie. The zoo on a Wednesday? TOTALLY EMPTY Y'ALL.

But that changed when Big A started school. Suddenly, it wasn't so easy for us to make that time while I was working. Indeed, it's a big reason that I started looking to leave retail.

Today, I save Saturdays to spend with my family. We do stuff together in the mornings and head to my mom's in the afternoons (usually the boys spend Saturday evening with her #blessed...). It's fun and carefree and the last thing I want to do is to disrupt that by giving myself a lot of shit to do.

So when you're making a cleaning schedule, adding a day to catch up on stuff and a day to just chill out and spend time doing things you love, hopefully with people you love.

You'll thank me, I promise.

Habit Helpers: Read a Chapter a Day: Reflecting

If you've been following along with these habits, what did you think of this one? By far, it's one of my favorites--and a good part of that is because it was already part of my routine.

Here's a snap of how I keep up with what I'm reading each day:

I also make an effort to actively schedule time for reading:

So there ya go. That's my dual-wielded secret for making sure that I make time to read every day.

For a while after I became a stay at home parent, I had trouble adjusting. I still do sometimes. It felt like I had no intellectual stimulation. I felt like my mind was just...stagnating. I didn't really talk to other people. My world suddenly shrank to the size of my home and my kid's school, and that was it. I watched more TV than I ever had in my life.

One day, I stopped and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I had picked up a book. Me, the person who preordered the Deathly Hallows and didn't sleep until I had finished reading it. Me, who had never been seen without a book for the majority of my life. I'm surprised my family and friends still recognized me...

And it dawned on me: I was deeply unhappy. Not with my home or my life or my family, but with the way that I'd neglected myself. I'd neglected my own headspace.

Reading comforts me. It relaxes me. I'd shuffled it to the side because it didn't seem like it was important, but I realized that it was important. It was important enough to be one of the activities that I don't skip.

For me, this habit isn't even about getting smarter (arguably, none of them are--this is jus fun) but about organizing the headspace I've already got.

How about you?

Clean Up Your Act: Cleaning Schedules, Part 3: Kids' Bathroom

Okay, this is my least favorite room. So let's just get to it, shall we?

I hate this room because no matter what I do, it is always dirty again five minutes later. Like, as soon as I wash the toilet, my kid is going to come up and be like, "Okay, I need to go poop, Mom!" Like, thanks, kid. Thanks...

But I digress.

Here's the chore breakdown for this bathroom, which is the one that people see most often:

Every day, straightening, wiping down the counter, and cleaning the sink keeps the room in balance. Without these steps, I wind up with a crazy mess every single week.

Straightening, as a chore, means restoring the room and putting everything back to its home base. I also take note of anything that's a particular mess and going ahead and fixing it before it becomes more of a mess.

Our bath toys get thrown right in the empty dishwasher. It's a great trick for cleaning and keeping them fresh and non-mildewy.

Walls, baseboards--pretty standard. Light switches: I actually remove the plate from the switch and any outlets that I can and clean them. This is also when we replace any that may need replaced (none have in our new home yet, but I'm sure that day will come).

Light fixtures is just climbing up and dusting the fixtures to make sure that they are clean.

I only clean toothbrushes by soaking them in mouthwash. There may be a better way. Month three is not a cleaning but replacing, so that works out well.

For the parents out there: Potty seats are the worst. Especially padded ones. If you have a padded seat, pull the pad up and you may find the source of any lingering odor in your bathroom. The first time I did this, I nearly upchucked. It was awful.

I have two cleaning kits: one for the bathrooms, one for every other room. My bathroom kit looks like this:

• Basket to hold everything
• Toilet cleaner
• Glass cleaner
• Disinfecting wipes
• Dishwashing liquid
• Baking soda
• Small bowl
• Cleaning cloths

I also keep a pack of baby wipes in both bathrooms--I use these to wipe down the sinks and counters every day, and sometimes to hit the toilet rim if the kids miss....which happens way more often than I'd like!

The baking soda mixed with a little dishwashing liquid makes, in my opinion, a fantastic soft scrub for all of the porcelain. Love it.

I also revisit (and this will probably be substance for another post in my Clean Up Your Act series) this guest bathroom before (this may shock you) we have guests! Overall, though, cleaning it once a week makes for a great balance and it stays pretty tidy for the rest of the week.

Habit Helpers: Read A Chapter A Day: Can we talk about how important it is to read to kids?

I'm not going to pull a lot of resources for this one, but I wanted to talk about how important reading to kids is.

I'm a mom of two full-time, stepmom of two more that we usually have for a few holidays and the summertime. Sometimes, making time to read to my kids is a struggle. It's usually in the evenings, after we've already pushed through cooking dinner, eating dinner, cleaning up after dinner, cleaning up after our day, laying out clothes for the next day, making lunches, and all of the other attendant activities that go along with taking care of little (and bigger) ones over the course of a day.

When I feel myself lagging on it, I remind myself of why it's important, and it works for me.

• Reading gives me a chance to snuggle with my kids--even though they are now big enough that they rarely want me to snuggle with them on a regular basis anymore. This snuggling is about more than just us bonding; it releases oxytocin, which allows my kids to form positive associations with the idea of reading.
• Kids that are read to (and talked to, for the record) tend to have 30 million or more words than kids that aren't. That's a huge difference.
• Six minutes of reading relieves stress measurably. At least twenty minutes of reading in the evening allows us a chance to unwind and let our minds rest before we shift into bedtime.
• Kids that are read to learn to empathize very readily. The more diverse their reading, the better.
• Reading teaches my kids to communicate in new and better ways. They learn different sentence structures and how to convey what they want to say.
• Reading aloud actually activates parts of children's brains--even those of babies!--that stimulate language processing.

How can you make it work for you?

There's no good answer to this. Here's some recommendations:

• Try to set aside a scheduled block of time to read. This was really hard for our family when I was working. My schedule was off the wall, and my spouse's school schedule wasn't always steady either.
• Don't stress it if you miss a day or two. I tried to be really rigid about reading together. You know what happened? It got to be a really crappy chore, and I didn't look forward to it. How sad is that? Giving myself space to adjust as necessary makes a huge difference.
• Persevere through the "just one more time" phase. Big A, my older son, got hung up on "How I Became a Pirate". I read that book so many times that I could quote it. I no longer had to read from the pages. It was terrible. I thought I was going to tear my hair out. I started to try to justify forcing him to choose something else. Diversity, right? It's important...in the end, he eventually shifted to something else, and I knew that whatever emotional need How I Became a Pirate satisfied for him had been met. Just push through, guys. It will end. It will end.
• Give into just one more chapter when you can. We're up to chapter books now for our read alouds. Right now we're doing Eragon. When my kids ask for one more chapter, I try to give in as often as I can. My mom did this for me way back when we were reading The Hobbit when I was three going on four years old, and I remember enjoying that moment. It was literal elation for me every time she said yes. I enjoy knowing that I can give my kids that feeling too.
• Do a weekly library trip. It's pretty awesome. You get introduced to all kinds of books, and you also have a bit of a timeline for reading them (so if you get stuck in that "just one more" loop....you can break it a little quicker, maybe? ;-)).
• Let your kids see you reading. We are a species that learns so much by modeling. We watch the behaviors of other members of our species and learn how we ourselves should behave. If you're taking the time to read one or more chapters a day per this habit...let your kiddos see. It will work wonders.

Anyway, I know this is well-covered territory, but it's still so important to stress. How do you encourage literacy in your home?

Clean Up Your Act: Cleaning Schedules, Part 2: Master Bedroom & Bathroom

I'm going to go room by room for the next week to talk a little more about how I determined what needed to be done in each one. Bear with me, please.

The first time I attempted to generate a list of chores, I simply wrote up a list of chores I thought needed to be done and I went with it. It quickly became apparent that I'd missed a few things--things that I tended to notice, for some reason, only when I had company.

Apparently, visitors are the absolute best way to attract your attention to things like dirty baseboards or that spot on the wall behind the trash can you didn't realize existed.

Anyway, I decided to try a different tactic: I grabbed a pad of paper and a pencil and I went into each room and I sat cross-legged in the floor and generated a list of everything I thought needed to be cleaned. Then I generated, in this first go round, two categories of chores: Weekly and Monthly.

This too quickly showed its flaws. It neglected maintenance chores that needed to be done daily, and there were some things I was doing every week or every month that I simply didn't need to. The timing was bad.

So I added two additional categories: Daily and Quarterly. This worked really well for me at our first house, and actually greatly reduced my stress during our moving process. Our landlords had a habit of scheduling showings but not notifying me twenty four hours in advance (indeed, I once had a woman show up to see the house while I was in my pajamas--AH!). My cleaning list, though, made it a simple thing to right the house even if I only had fifteen minutes or less notice.

When we moved into this home, I repeated the process. Much of the framework was the same, but a few things changed (as a random example, both of our bathrooms here have windows but neither of the ones at the old place did).

Just recently, it became apparent that this house doesn't need as much maintenance as our former place, so I once again found myself revisiting my chore list to add a new category: Biannually. A space for Spring and Autumn cleaning, I suppose.

Here's the process that I went through. Today is my Master Bed & Bath day, so I figured I would share those.

First, I just typed up the list of chores I'd generated in Excel. No fuss, no muss, as they say.

Next I added my timetable labels:

I'm sure you can guess what came next:

Straighten: Return everything back to its home base
Vacuum: Quick vacuum, no furniture moved except hamper
Deep Vacuum: In depth vacuuming, including under bed and behind furniture
Behind Dressers: Move the dressers, clean up anything that has slipped behind, dust, vacuum

Here's what it looked like for the other two areas that I clean on Wednesdays. First, the master bathroom:

Yes, I included make up and toothbrushes. I would totally forget about them otherwise! I also just realized as I look at this that I forgot to include cleaning under the sink in my new list (I do it monthly to try to catch any leaks early). Dammit. *runs off to Excel to fix*

And last but not least, a little weird hallway that leads to our master bedroom:

I will explain how I decide what I'm doing each day in a later post in the series.

How do you keep track of the big cleaning chores?

Habit Helpers: Read a Chapter a Day: The continuing book versus e-reader debate

I was one of those people.

"I will never own an e-reader," I said.

"I love the feel of books, the look of them, the smell of them...no e-reader for me!" I said.

And then one Christmas, must have been about 2009, I unwrapped a Kindle e-reader from my parents. It wasn't the first generation--I think it was the next after that--and I was instantly in love. I went through a spell where I didn't buy physical books at all. I could hear a book I wanted, and instantly download it. Voilà!

I found it especially useful when my younger son was born. It's a topic for another day, but I really struggled with breastfeeding my older son. It wasn't even because of actual obstacles--it was purely a result of my own head and the pressures I put on myself. Nursing was bonding, and I didn't allow any distractions...not even the TV. I quickly found out that, especially during growth spurts, babies can.nurse.forever. With my older son, I just wanted it to be done so we could get on to other stuff. With my younger son, I committed myself to just making nursing part of our normal routine. That meant that, yes, it was great bonding time, but no, I wasn't spending the entire time staring lovingly into my baby's (usually closed anyway) eyes. My Kindle was my secret weapon. There was no stress or pressure when he was nursing and I was engaged in whatever I was reading (at the time, I had only just discovered Game of Thrones and started reading through the books, so...yes, he was nursing and I was awash in the intrigue of Westeros).

In the years since, I've reached a fairly happy balance between physical books and e-books (my spouse might disagree...he's pushing back on my desire to have a bookshelf in every single room of the house for some reason...). But some people still have really big objections to e-readers. Here's a few of them.

They say that e-readers don't encourage reading comprehension the way that physical books do.

This is usually based on a 2014 study that showed the people reading a short mystery story recalled the events better when they had read it in paper form than electronic. The researchers had a few hypotheses about this, centering around the idea that the tactile experience aids in memory formation and later recall.

This isn't without basis. We know that memories are a complex ever-shifting tapestry of everything about a moment--sights, smells, sounds, feelings, even balance.

However, I find myself wondering if this is simply a case where the human brain hasn't adapted yet. I also wonder (and I haven't read the study for myself, so I don't know if they explored this) whether they controlled for people who were regular e-readers versus those who aren't. For me, I don't find any difference between recalling what I've read on my Kindle and what I've read in my books. Recently, I finished a Cold Mountain hardcover and The Good Earth as an e-book. At certain points, I was reading both novels at the same time. I only finished Cold Mountain this week, and The Good Earth a week or so ago, but I'm able to recall both stories equally vividly, at least by my estimation.

The human brain was never wired for reading and writing. Those are skills the brain has adapted to over the ages. Perhaps e-reading will be one that we adapt to also.

Source: http://mic.com/articles/99408/science-has-great-news-for-people-who-read-actual-books

They say that you need to be able to read long sentences.

And they are right. But I think this is more something we struggle with as internet readers than e-readers. I don't know that I've ever clicked a link in one of my Kindle books.

I do find myself tempted when I am reading online to click through to every link that I see. I have to commit to reading the entire portion of text and then clicking back through to see what the links were that I was interested in.

Source: http://mic.com/articles/99408/science-has-great-news-for-people-who-read-actual-books

Screentime hurts sleep patterns.

This is also true. Indeed, in my own life, I'm trying to shift away from having screens on right until bedtime.

But scientists have noted that e-readers like the original Kindle, which have no backlighting, don't have this issue the way that other mediums, like reading on tablets or smartphones, do.

Source: http://www.medicaldaily.com/e-books-are-damaging-your-health-why-we-should-all-start-reading-paper-books-again-317212


Anyway, to wrap it all up, I suppose this is like any other facet of our lifestyles: moderation is the best path.

At the end of the day, what matters is that people are reading. Perhaps our brains will catch up to the technology in time.

Clean Up Your Act: Cleaning Schedules, Part 1: Creating a Daily Chores List

I have an ulterior motive for this series of posts: recently, my best friend, whom I adore, asked me to help her come up with a cleaning schedule. She's getting ready to finish school and she wants to transition into "adulting".

I'm honored, but I'm nervous--this is something that I've only done for myself.

So I'm working through the process for myself to better understand it. Yay!

Today we're talking about creating a daily chores list. I feel like daily chores are the unsung heroes of home-keeping. For a long time after moving out on my own, I neglected daily chores, and instead found myself trying to cram a week's worth of cleaning and laundry into two days off...while I was pregnant...and parenting a toddler...and trying to be a decent spouse.

You may say, "Well where was your spouse?!" and that's a fair question--it quickly became apparent after we started cohabiting that my spouse and I have very different standards of clean. Clarifying those standards and reaching a middle ground was, as you might have guessed, an important part of reaching  daily balance.

The other half of my Zen equation, though, was my daily chores list.

This, as I shared last week, is what that looks like now:

But that's not how it started. Oh no. It started as me getting really frustrated that, once again, the sink was absolutely crusty with toothpaste. Again. Did I mention AGAIN? Because it was, in fact, AGAIN CRUSTY WITH TOOTHPASTE.

This was one of those little annoyances that took root and grew. Toothpaste. Dishes. Sweeping the dining room table after dinner. There was a litany of little things that I felt like I was forgetting, either to do myself or to have someone do, every single day.

Slowly, this list emerged. The importance of having a list of chores you do daily can't be overstated. These are the chores that, if you do only them and nothing else except clean up after yourself, will still keep your home manageable.

When I was still working, this was a huge deal. No more was I embarrassed to have my mom stop by unexpectedly. I didn't feel guilty if I skipped a day of cleaning to take the kids to the zoo. If I was opening, I would do the morning chores before I left, and the afternoon chores when I got home. Whoever didn't cook dinner would do the evening chores. If I was closing, I'd do afternoon chores before I left for work, and spousal unit would be in charge of after dinner clean up.

Daily chores are pretty individual. I have a friend who lives with just her spouse. For her, dishes don't have to be an every day chore--if she rinses them out, she can leave them for a day or even two. For other people, laundry is a once a week chore...and for still others, they do a load a day religiously.

For me, I wanted my daily chores to keep the house looking tidy. That meant reseting things back to where they belong at least once a day. Where we are today, my whole list takes about an hour during the day if there's been a lot of traffic in and out, including the time to make lunch for spousal unit. The kids stuff takes them about half an hour. It's manageable, which was my biggest desire for this aspect of my cleaning schedule.

I've also found for me, personally, having a set list of tasks that I do has helped me manage my mental health. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 17. I managed it with medication for some time, but eventually weaned off, opting instead for cognitive behavioral therapy, with the understanding that I can return to medication therapy should I need to at any time. I recently heard a TED talk where the speaker said that the opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's connection. I really agree. This is the aspect that having the list helps me with--it gets me up and moving, I have a list that allows me to see my progress, and I don't feel as prone to withdrawing. Even now, as I feel my seasonal depression creeping up, I'm glad to have it as a part of my mental health regimen.

Important Note: In no way am I advocating housework as a cure for depression. For me, having a set list of tasks to accomplish is but one of many, many ways that I manage my depression. I felt like this needed saying and emphasizing. If you are suffering from depression or any mental anomaly, please seek the advice of a licensed mental healthcare practitioner.

So back to how I came up with my manageable, motivating list of tasks: I sat down and I thought about what was important to me. I also considered what my spouse had voiced as his preferences over the years and what I could reasonably expect my kids to be responsible for.

For me, the importance was definitely making sure that there was nothing to trip over (I'm a klutz) and making sure that the house looked neat. Visual clutter makes me feel anxious and trapped. For my spouse, it was definitely dishes.

The chores were rounded up and added to a list, then divvied up among all of us. Over the intervening time between then and now, the list has changed a little--I added making lunches when I lost my job, because before that, we had the money for spousal unit and I to eat out when we were working. We just recently adjusted the laundry days because our youngest kid is going through clothes like crazy (he changes clothes to be different characters....). Overall, though, even during the move, the list stayed pretty much the same.

What works for you will be different. What's your process?

Habit Helpers: Reading Effectively

Outside of my schooling, I was never a big fan of nonfiction reading. I'd gobble up fictional books, but I had to be really interested in a subject if I was going to be tempted to read a nonfiction text.

This began to shift last year. I'm not quite sure what caused the shift for me, personally, but it's pretty noticeable. This year, I've read 35 books so far. Twenty of them were nonfiction, fifteen were fiction. Right now, I'm reading one parenting book, one nonfiction book (A Demon-Haunted World), and one parenting book.

Reading nonfiction for pleasure was a little daunting at first. It took me a bit to get into a groove.

This is, naturally, my reading journal. The format changes from time to time, but it's typically some variation of this. These were notes taken while I was reading God Is Not Great.

When I'm reading, I like to jot down quotes that I find meaningful. I also make a note of ideas that I have for writing projects or blog posts, as well as any questions that come up and words that I don't know off the top of my head. Usually, like most folks, I can puzzle out the meaning from the context, but I also like to add them to my word journal with the definition.

I've read that there are six skills involved in reading effectively:

1. Predicting
2. Visualizing
3. Connecting
4. Questioning
5. Clarifying
6. Evaluating

You predict what's going to happen or what you're going to learn. You visualize what you are reading as you go. You connect what you are reading to other knowledge you already have (one of my personal favorites). You question what you are reading. You clarify what you do not understand, by rereading or by additional research. You evaluate both before you start to read--forming an opinion of what you expect from the reading--and afterwards--forming an opinion of the text itself.

I've become a strong advocate of reading for learning in non-scholastic environments. I find myself more curious and interested in the world around me since I've started committing to continuing to exercise my brain and not just entertain it. A quote that I ran across while doing some research for this week's habit that I liked reads:

Reading for learning requires a conscious effort to make links, understand opinions, research and apply what you learn to your studies.

I'm not applying it to my studies, but I find that the things that I am learning make the weirdest changes in my every day life.

As I'm consciously reading for learning, I find myself more critical of other media sources too. I'm questioning my favorite blogs and being a general pain in the ass, if we're being honest, but it's because I'm exercising academic muscles that I haven't used since college--and it's fun. Another quote from that site:

Reading becomes not simply a way to see what is said but to recognise and interpret what is said, taking into account subtleties such as bias, assumption and the perspectives of the author.

It's that idea that's sinking into my everyday web surfing and conversations.

Habit Helpers: Read a chapter of a book a day Reading is FUNdamental

I like dumb puns. This headline is an ode to that. I'd apologize, but I'm not really sorry, so it'd be pointless.

In 1978, Gallup conducted a poll of Americans that showed that 8% had not read a book in the last year. In 2014, Pew conducted the same poll, and found that 28% of Americans had not read a single book in the year 2013.

That's a huge jump.

Now, I'm going to state a disclaimer upfront: I don't think this is necessarily the crisis that we paint it as. People are still reading. They're just reading blogs and websites and tweets and Facebook posts. But there are benefits to reading books, in particular, and we'll explore that in more depth maybe later this week.

Today, I'd like to start our read a chapter a day habit with a reminder about a few of the benefits of reading. I found a list of 26 Major Advantages To Reading More Books And Why 3 in 4 People Are Being Shut Out of Success, and I thought I would share a few of my favorites from the list. Check out the link for the entirety.

1. Reading is an active mental process – Unlike TV, books make you to use your brain. By reading, you think more and become smarter.

Reading is an active mental process. Indeed there's some research to indicate that reading is an activity that can help prevent Alzheimer's:

Staying cognitively active throughout life—via social engage­ment or intellectual stimulation—is associated with a lower risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Several observational studies link continued cognitive health with social engagement through work, volunteering, or living with someone. Mentally stimulating activities such as reading books and magazines, going to lectures, and playing games are also linked to keeping the mind sharp.

Notice that this says "throughout life". Using your brain isn't something that you can start in retirement and hope to protect it and keep it useful--it has to become a daily habit early on.

3. Improves your vocabulary – Remember in elementary school when you learned how to infer the meaning of one word by reading the context of the other words in the sentence? You get the same benefit from book reading. While reading books, especially challenging ones, you will find yourself exposed to many new words you wouldn’t be otherwise.

I keep a word journal. As I am reading, I make a note of words that I don't know, then I look them up and record them in my journal. I love words, and this delights me.

But reading, even for folks without word journals, does play a huge role in building vocabularies:

Research has shown that past the 4th grade, the number of words a person knows depends primarily on how much time they spend reading (Hayes & Ahrens, 1988; Nagy & Anderson, 1984; Nagy & Herman, 1987; Stanovich, 1986).  In fact, by the time they reach adulthood, people who make a habit of reading have a vocabulary that is about four times the size of those who rarely or never read.

That is absolutely a TON of words...

4. Gives you a glimpse into other cultures and places – What is your favorite vacation spot? I would bet you read a lot about that destination. The more information the better. Books can expand your horizons by letting you see what other cities and countries have to offer before you visit them.

As a parent, this is one of the aspects of reading with my children that I try to leverage as often as possible.

When you open a book, you open a window to a whole different world. You can pick worlds that look just like your own...or you can opt to take a look at something and someone very different. That positive contribution of diversity can't be understated. It's something educators are stressing too:

Consistent exposure to positive role models is another excellent way to emphasize respect and admiration for the diverse student's own culture. All too often, students are exposed to ethnic stereotypes on television and in movies. Providing diverse students with role models who demonstrate exceptional leadership qualities and make social contributions in a non-stereotypical way helps students recognize the limitless ways in which they can have a positive impact on society. 

These are three of my personal top reasons to read, but there's a ton more on the list that I agree with (although some seem a wee bit repetitive).

Take a look, and drop me a comment below with what you are reading!

Habit Helper: Devil's Advocate, Day 5

So I bounced back yesterday with a topic that I have a firm opinion on, and then I took the opposite stance.

It started with the results of the March of Dimes Prematurity Report Card, where our state rated a D. Then there was this comment on the Facebook feed:

SC isn't responsible for premature births...the individual is. So hopefully they consider the age of the mothers as well as the lifestyles...and no I didn't read the article...just commenting on the headline...but heard it on the news. I also know that healthy people can have preemies, too, but statistically, they aren't really separating the cases.

So I decided to look into it. Why not, right?

I'm doing this "live" so to speak, while I'm doing the research. That's a little different than last time, when I looked at the research and then came up with the blog post, but I think it'll capture the process really organically.

Okay. Onward we go.

Managing My Time: My bastard system to keep myself moving

Last month, I finally broke down and did something I'd been meaning to do for a while: I created my own planner pages. They aren't pretty, but they have proven incredibly functional over the intervening weeks.

To keep a long story brief, I have been searching for the perfect planner for a while. Hell, forget perfect, I just wanted a planner that I could use and not feel like I needed three others to supplement it. By the time that I made the decision to make my own pages, I had three planners that I was using--one daily one that broke the day down by timeblocks, one that I used for planning my blogging, and one that I used for planning and keeping track of our household.

What I wanted was pretty simple. I wanted enough room for a spot to block out my time, track my reading schedule, put in what was for dinner, keep track of things for my kids' school, record events for the family, jot down tasks, track what chores were due that day...

I mean, really, is that so much to ask for?????

I jest, of course. I realized a long time ago that I wouldn't find something that fit all of those needs, but what was surprising was how many didn't even come close, and how long I was willing to give them a pass on not meeting more than one or two of those needs at a time.

So this is what I came up with:

I'm still tweaking it. I've changed several parts of it--for instance, I had the reading schedule at the bottom with blog posts, but then I realized there wasn't much space for me to record ideas for two different blogs for the day.

I fill in the Monthly and Quarterly chores section from a spreadsheet I generated of chores that need to be done each month and quarter. Originally, I just went down the list and assigned the chores to a day without putting any thought into it. Then I realized that I was wasting a lot of time--I do a room or two every day, so if say, I had a Quarterly Kitchen task on my Living Room day....it was wasting effort. So I went back to the drawing board and explored whether I could match tasks to the day that I was already cleaning in that area, and it really worked well. I'm quite happy with the outcome. This is week 3 since I made that change, and I feel much more productive.

I also generated a Daily Chores list to help me track what chores I'm doing when. My Daily Chores are those chores that I do even if I do nothing else. All told, counting after dinner clean up, it comes to about 45 minutes of effort every day. The list looks like this:

Morning chores take about ten minutes, after noon five minutes, after dinner clean  up about thirty minutes if I had to do a lot of cooking.

I'm thinking of adding an additional printable for my daily habits series that I've been doing for this blog, because it's been fun and I'd love to keep it up.

This works for me because I enjoy having every moment of my day pretty well scheduled. Without structure, I feel more anxious and insecure. I'm working on it, but working with it helps sometimes too. I'm not a spontaneous kinda person. :-)

Anyway, that's how I manage my time and stay motivated. Since instituting this system, I do find that I have more productive days versus before, when I kind of languished and then spent a day or two a week doing a lot of work to try to catch up.

Habit Helpers: Playing Devil's Advocate, Day 4ish

This has actually been really difficult. It's going to take some more practice on my part to work this into my regular routine.

I tried to visit another newspaper's editorial section--this time the Augusta Chronicle--and I left in disgust. I can take the vitriol when I expect it--I encounter issues and viewpoints I disagree with at Charisma or at Christianity Today or at the Christian Science Monitor--but to find it in a city's daily paper...I dunno, it hit me kind of hard to see "liberal agenda" seriously in print in a staff editorial. It was a reminder that I am surrounded by people that don't think like I do, and I wound up feeling very lonely and isolated.

So I took a step back from this habit. I may venture back into it today, but I'm not sure. Maybe I will just file this one into my tool kit.

I did think of one way that I love to listen to opposing sides of issues though: Intelligence Squared Debates. I follow the podcast, and it's a great way to hear people who are really committed to different sides of the same issue. I figured since I don't have anything particularly substantive for this post, I'd share some of my favorite past episodes of the podcast.


First, this past week's debate was on whether or not to raise the gas tax, and I was excited because I listened to it the day after researching whether road conditions impact traffic fatalities: Should Congress Raise the Federal Gas Tax?

Here's some others I've enjoyed recently:

Courts, Not Campuses, Should Decide Sexual Assault Cases 

Liberals Are Stifling Intellectual Diversity On Campus

Death Is Not Final (If you are a fan of Skeptic's Guide to the Universe, Steve Novella is one of the debaters on this one.)


There are a ton of others on the site. I also access them through my Apple Podcast app if I feel like revisiting one I particularly enjoyed.

Anyway, if you really listen to the arguments for and against each proposition, you'll learn some interesting stuff. For the Liberals Are Stifling Intellectual Diversity On Campus debate, I actually completely reversed positions based on the evidence presented and I feel like it's actually left me more open-minded and better able to engage with people who hold different viewpoints from me.

Habit Helpers: Devil's Advocate Day 1 Are South Carolina's drivers really that bad?

I figured I would start with an easy one, so I found an editorial in The State newspaper published on August 27, 2015, headlined "Better driving, tougher laws make SC roads safer".

The thesis seems to be:

The most dangerous thing about our highways is our drivers. The most dangerous thing about our roads is us.

And I agree. Whole-heartedly. Recently on a trip to see my parents, my spouse and I actually changed our route because there was a driver in another lane driving so erratically that we didn't feel safe...because she was clearly texting.

John Monk, the author of the editorial, makes good points about our driving habits.

But, I decided to see if he was wrong. Were the conditions of our roads a significant factor in why we have such a high rate of traffic fatalities?

I approached this using several different statistics:

• State population
• Vehicle miles traveled
• Fatalities per 100,000 population & 100 million vehicle miles traveled
• Percent of roads considered to be in poor or mediocre condition
• Costs of repairs due to road conditions per driver
• Percentage of traffic fatalities attributable to DUI

My presumption, then, was that traffic fatalities are exacerbated by road conditions.

Habit Helpers: This Week's Habit is Playing Devil's Advocate

I knew this one was coming, and I've been toying with how best to continue my series (which I'm enjoying) and cover this one in a way that it becomes organic like the last two habits have.

Devil's advocacy is a fraught topic. It's can be a difficult rhetorical strategy to employ effectively without alienating and invalidating the experiences of the person you are talking to.

Brute Reason had a post on this, and I can't find anyway to link you directly to it, but here's a quote and I'll link a Tumblr search that was my only way to find it:

Devil’s advocate is a tricky rhetorical strategy. On the one hand, it can be extremely useful for exposing the flaws in an argument, helping others clarify and strengthen their positions, and practice your own argumentation. Using devil’s advocate when the topic under discussion is, say, whether or not we should pursue immortality or how best to end our dependence on non-renewable energy sources will probably be productive and enlightening. 

On the other hand, when the topic is whether or not it should be legal to shoot unarmed Black teenagers or how best to respond to sexual assault, devil’s advocate is a minefield of potential faux pas, triggers, and discussions that end in yelling and/or blocking each other online.

This is the crux of the issue, in my opinion, and for me, it's simple to resolve: unless it's someone I know well (my spouse and younger sister are the only people that I use that technique with), I don't use devil's advocacy in discussions.

For me, when I am emotionally involved in a topic--and I also agree with Brute Reason when the point is made that there are some topics that it is impossible to emotionally disengage from and that emotion isn't always a bad thing--devil's advocacy by my discussion partner is frustrating and wears me out. I shift into defensive mode, and it's not conducive to the discussion.

As I explored the idea of playing devil's advocate, though, it kind of dawned on me--I know you will all be shocked by this! /sarcasm--that it is a really good exercise to refine my own thoughts.

I don't know if I will experience it in any meaningful way during discussions this week. I don't know that I will ever feel comfortable using it in that way, but I do think that it will be an entertaining way to explore my own thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

I found this idea in the Business Insider post that inspired this series:

Take something you recently learned and generate a unique opinion on it that wouldn't immediately come to mind. Try to support it with evidence, and be open to the idea that new evidence will change your opinion. Repeat this every day, and you'll become much better at thinking outside the box. 

If you're feeling stuck, try reading and critically evaluating the editorial section of papers. They will help you understand how other people form arguments and express their opinions.

So I think, especially at first, I'll start by checking out editorial sections and blogs, and I will argue positions that I don't find appealing myself. Indeed, I think that I may actually start with our local Letters to the Editor...

And another form that I intend to take personally: I will be asking myself more regularly, "What information would falsify this? What would change my mind?" and then making the effort to look for that information.

Now that I've formed a plan, I am looking forward to this one. Let's explore it, shall we?

Habit Helpers: Follow Your Questions, Day 5

Following my questions, Day 5....

What is lanolin? It's a wool wax or grease that helps to protect skin from the ravages of the environment. This question popped up while reading Cold Mountain, when it mentioned that one of the characters wore wool with the lanolin left in it to protect themselves from the rain. Turns out, lanolin does offer waterproofing of a type. Lanolin is found in a wide variety of cosmetic and dermatological products, including baby skin treatments and nipple treatments for breastfeeding mothers.

Who was Aaron Burr? So all I knew about Aaron Burr prior to this was that he was Jefferson's vice president during Jefferson's first term and that he shot and killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel. But here are some other fun things that I learned about him:

• He believed in equality of the sexes, and dictated that his daughter Theodosia would receive a really intense education in her youth.
• He sponsored legislation in the New York Assembly that eventually abolished slavery in the state.
• His daughter Theodosia died at the age of 29, in a shipwreck.
• Burr is rumored to have fathered two children of mixed racial heritage with a servant in his family's household, while married to his wife (also named Theodosia); it's impossible to verify with DNA testing because no known male Burr descendant has been located (and such a descendant may not exist).
• He is known to be the father of modern political campaigning (thanks a lot for that one!)
• All charges against Burr related to Hamilton's death were eventually dropped.

Last week, I related some tips and tricks for how I did my 10 ideas a day. This week, I didn't give much advice, but here are some things I learned to help me work this habit into my daily life:

• I did not find it useful to drop what I was doing any time I had a question and look it up. I tried this on the first day, and it was really disruptive because it seems like I really have a lot of questions when I am doing other stuff, like housework, and it threw off my flow.
• I did find it useful to write down all of my questions and take some time to really pursue them in the evenings, when I settled down, usually after dinner.
• Post it notes were really helpful. I didn't find electronic notes that useful.
• I found it useful to define a place that I could stick my notes and gather them later for my research.

So that's really all I got for tips and tricks, folks. I enjoyed this activity. I don't know that any of these are actually making me smarter (I doubt it), but they've been fun! ;-)